You Can't Survive Without Me!
by Slina
Summary: Erik hates Raoul. Raoul hates Erik. So what happens when they're forced to depend on each other for help? Nonslash. A oneshot written for PFN's 3rd humour contest.


_This was my second entry into PFN's 3rd humour contest. This one did end up doing significantly better (maybe because this one actually had some humour involved…). Also, for those of you who read the submitted version, this one did have a couple of minor mistakes edited, and the ending somewhat redone to get Christine a bit more IC._

_Disclaimer: I own nothing that came from Phantom of the Opera. _

**You Can't Survive Without Me!**

Erik moaned as pain shot through his leg. He had always known that getting lost in his thoughts so often would get him in trouble someday, and sure enough, they had kept him from remembering the trapdoor on the floor upstairs. Now he was stuck on the floor of the communists' dungeon with a broken leg. If he had been paying any attention at all, he would have remembered that the ceiling trapdoor was the _last_ dungeon entrance he wanted to be using. He really should nail that thing shut someday.

Not that he'd ever have a chance. There was no getting out of here now. He'd already tried walking, and the attempt had yielded nothing but a terrible shot of pain in his leg. Well, at least Raoul hadn't seen him yet.

"What are you doing this time, Erik?" Raoul demanded.

Erik groaned. Raoul had seen him after all. "I was going to let you out," he said in the most menacing voice he could manage, "but now I've changed my mind."

"As if you had a choice!" Raoul said with a little laugh. "Don't think I can't see you!"

"You only _think_ you can see me," said Erik. "This is really just another illusion. Something like that room of mirrors you were in earlier. It makes you think things are there that really don't exist…"

"I doubt it," Raoul replied, but Erik could hear the fear creeping into his voice. Good. The last thing he needed was to appear vulnerable in front of _him_.

"You doubt it, do you? Then why do I not leave?"

"I don't know," Raoul said doubtfully, "but I'm sure you have your reasons."

Erik chuckled again, this time cutting himself off with a wince as he felt another sharp pang in his leg. "Yes, I do," he managed.

"You sound like you're in pain."

Erik scowled. Raoul wasn't supposed to notice that! He replied hastily, "Only pain from my separation from…" He coughed, and began again. "What pain?"

It was hard to tell, but he almost thought he saw Raoul roll his eyes. "Are you going to let me go or not?" Raoul asked.

"Not," Erik said.

"You'll need me to get out."

Erik choked in surprise. He, Erik, the _Opera Ghost_, needed a mere boy like Raoul to help him out? He would have taken it as an insult if it wasn't for the fact that he knew there was some truth to it. "Why in the world do you think _I_ need _you_ to help me out?"

"You're clearly hurt," said Raoul. "If you weren't, you would have left by now."

"Of all the… You just listen! I do not need help!" He quickly lowered his voice. "However, I will let you go. Not because you deserve it, but because… because I can." He staggered heavily over to Raoul, unlocked the chains and collapsed to the ground.

Raoul immediately bolted toward the door. "Well, I should probably thank you for letting me go," he called back to Erik, "but I should go find Christine now…"

"Wait!" roared Erik. He scowled at himself before continuing with a slightly calmer and much more ominous voice. "I would not go alone if I were you."

Raoul stopped and smirked back at Erik. "Why not? It's not as if you can follow me."

"Yes I can!" Erik snapped. "But if you leave without me, I will not follow. And do you know why?" He paused, but only briefly, since he really didn't want Raoul to answer that question. "Because I know that if you travel the underground alone, you'll never see the light of day again. It's a very large labyrinth, full of many confusing passages and deadly traps. You could never survive if you didn't know the way… like I do."

Raoul sighed and trudged back to Erik. "All right then, I get the point. Do you want to lean on me, or should I carry you?"

"No!" Erik quickly said. "You will not carry me!" He struggled to his feet, but collapsed immediately. He would never be able to walk all the way back home. "On second thought," he amended, "yes, you will carry me. But not because I need your help. Remember that."

Raoul stifled a laugh. "Then why should I carry you?"

"Because I can guide you better when you carry me, that's why! Do I really need to explain these things to you?"

Raoul knelt, lifted Erik onto his back, and stood back up. "I suppose we take the door out?" Raoul asked.

"Yes, of course we take the door out," Erik said. "How did you think we were going to get out?"

"Well, with all of your traps and trapdoors…"

"Yes, well, the dungeon doesn't really need both chains and traps!"

"But your house has quite a few things guarding it..."

"That's very different!" Erik said impatiently. "You've never built an underground labyrinth home before, have you? Now out the door!"

Raoul obeyed and slowly made his way out the door. Then, following Erik's directions, he turned left, then right, then right, then forward, then slightly to the left. It was not long before he suddenly fell through the darkness in front of him, taking Erik with him. They plummeted several feet into the darkness before finally landing on the damp and sandy floor.

Erik quickly directed the resulting scream of pain at Raoul. "Now you've done it! You've just dumped us into the torture chamber!"

"I only did what you said!" exclaimed Raoul. "You shouldn't have directed us this way!"

"Well, you'd better hope Christine's at home, because otherwise we'll never get out!"

"Don't you know the way out?" Raoul asked.

"Of course I do!" Erik snapped. "Do you think I'm some sort of idiot who can't even escape his own traps?"

"Then let us out!"

"Never!" Erik scowled up at the release button for the trapdoor. His "brilliancy" had made him position it i above /i the iron tree, and there was no way he would ever be able to reach it while his leg was still broken.

"Christine?" he called out. When he received no answer, he tried again. "Christine? Christine!"

"Where is she?" demanded Raoul. "What have you done with her!"

"If I knew she was somewhere else, I wouldn't be calling for her, would I?" Erik snapped. "Christine!"

He heard running footsteps from the other side of the wall. "Yes, Erik?" Christine's voice said breathlessly.

Erik shot a told-you-so look at Raoul, despite the intense darkness of the room. "Can you fetch the keys to the torture chamber door?"

"Why? Did you lock yourself in again?"

Erik scowled, and could hear Raoul laughing quietly. "No, not _again_, Christine. In fact, I'm not locked in this time either. I simply want you to open the door."

"All right, if you insist," Christine said doubtfully. Her footsteps were heard leaving the room.

Raoul burst out laughing. "_Again_? What happened the first time?"

Erik snarled. "I was not locked in before! I simply… wanted Christine to test the keys."

Raoul didn't seem to be particularly phased by Erik's snarl. "I'm sure," he said between his bursts of laughter, "just like you aren't in any pain right now, no doubt!"

"I AM NOT IN PAIN!" Erik roared. He instantly realized that this must have come across as a bit too defensive to be believable. He narrowed his eyes at Raoul, hoping to silence the response he knew was coming. Fortunately, Christine could be heard coming back before Raoul had a chance to say anything.

"I can't find them!" she called.

"You what?" Erik called back in annoyance.

"I can't find them!" she repeated. "I looked everywhere, but the keys are missing!"

"Well, then look-" Erik came to an abrupt stop as he felt something hard in his pocket. Of course! He had taken his set of keys with him so he could let himself into the dungeon. He made a mental note to make some spare keys later.

"Don't worry, I have this well under control, Christine," he said with as much conviction as he could muster. "Why don't you go… make us some tea… or something?"

"Oh, of course!" Christine replied, her voice suddenly brighter. "I think we even have some of your favorite left!"

"We… will get out?" Raoul asked after she'd left.

"Of course we'll get out!" snapped Erik. "Could you stop doubting me for once?"

"Then how?"

Erik didn't answer that right away. He obviously couldn't confess that he didn't know.

"We merely need to press the button which unlocks the door that lets us out," he finally said. "It's very simple, actually. You can't honestly think I would go to all this work on something like this only to make it impossible for me to get myself out of here?"

"Then where is the button? And why aren't you pushing it?"

Erik growled. "It's over the tree," he said reluctantly.

"Aren't you going to get it?" Raoul asked.

"No, I'd rather not inconvenience myself at the moment," Erik said coldly. He moved his hand to feel the area of the break and winced. It was amazing he had managed to even stand earlier.

"If you're sure," Raoul said doubtfully. He got up and walked over to the tree. It was hard to watch him in the darkness, but Erik's dark-accustomed eyes could barely make out Raoul's shape as it scaled the tree.

"I'm up!" Raoul called. "Now what?"

"Just feel for something that feels like a button, and push it!" said Erik. Honestly, that boy could be so difficult.

Waiting seemed to take an eternity, and Erik found himself humming quietly as they waited. He stopped as Raoul finally shouted exultantly: "I found it!"

"Did you push it yet?"

"Yes."

"Then get down here and open the door!"

Raoul climbed back down and rushed over to one of the walls. He turned to look at Erik. "But… where is it?" he asked.

Erik rolled his eyes and struggled to his feet. That boy just couldn't do anything, could he? He ignored the sharp pain from his leg. It seemed it would simply have to support him for a little longer. "It's over here," he said. His long fingers deftly found the catch in the door and tugged it open.

Dim candlelight from the other side filtered into the torture chamber, and Raoul eagerly rushed out. "Raoul, get back here!" shouted Erik, but Raoul was already gone. Erik tried to stagger through the door and promptly fell to the ground. "Christine!" he called. She quickly came running into the room.

He looked up at her and smiled. "So you came after all," he murmured.

Christine nodded brightly. Then she frowned, her large blue eyes filling with concern. "You're hurt!"

"No, it's… it's nothing, actually," Erik said, though he suspected he sounded rather unconvincing.

"No, it looks awful!" Christine exclaimed. "Your- your leg is bent…"

Erik sighed. "Yes, I know. Do you think you can… help me over to the couch or something?"

Christine reached down and awkwardly helped him stand. Erik tried not to lean on her, but once they began walking, he found himself forced to put a good deal of weight on her. He practically jumped across the entire second half of the distance to save Christine from any more trouble than necessary. He soon had himself stretched on the couch with Christine hovering over him in concern.

"Isn't there anything I can do?" she kept asking. "Anything at all? There has to be something. You look awful!"

She was finally stopped as Raoul ran into the room. "Christine! Aren't you coming?"

"Raoul, Erik's hurt!"

Erik groaned. Did she really have to say that? Couldn't she have just said 'I love him too much to leave' or something?

"Yes, but we must leave, Christine!" Raoul insisted.

"Why?" she asked with a frown. "Can't you see he needs me?"

"Why you?"

"There's no one else, Raoul! He's so alone, I've told you that already!" She sighed. "I'll go with you once he's better," she said.

Erik couldn't help smiling at himself. Perhaps breaking his leg was worth it after all, if it meant Christine would stay longer. Of her own free will, no less!

"If you're that determined, then I suppose we have no choice," Raoul reluctantly agreed. "But I'll stay as well."

"Thank you, Raoul!"

No! She couldn't let him stay! Couldn't she see what he was trying to do? Erik shot Raoul a deathly glare. "You will not stay!" he commanded.

Christine gasped. "Erik!"

"No, I will stay!" Raoul said. "I will not leave Christine alone to the vile methods of- of a monster!"

Erik seethed with rage. "I do not have to put up with this!"

"I don't see that you have much of a choice!"

"Of course I have a choice! I _always_ have a choice!"

Raoul laughed. "You do? Then why was I forced to carry you around your own cellars?"

Christine looked at Erik with wide eyes. "You had to be carried?"

"No, I did not have to be carried!" snapped Erik. "And you, young viscount, are quite impossibly stubborn!"

"No more than you!" Raoul retorted. "You're so stubborn, it isn't even impossible anymore!"

"Aahhh!" Christine screamed.

"Are you so sure?" Erik shot back at Raoul, ignoring Christine's scream.

"Of course I'm sure!" Raoul replied.

"Then stop insisting that I needed your help! Because I didn't!"

"See, you proved my point!"

"No, I did not! You proved mine!"

"I did not!"

"You did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!" Erik gave Raoul a look of triumph, knowing that Raoul couldn't possibly win. Not that he remembered what they were fighting about, but that didn't really matter, did it?

Raoul turned as if to get support from Christine, and froze. "Christine?" he asked in a small voice.

"What about Christine?"

"She- she's gone!" Raoul turned back and glared at Erik. "What have you done with her!"

"What have _I_ done with her? I should be asking _you_ that very same question!"

Raoul ran from the room, but was soon back. "I can't find her anywhere…"

Erik was starting to remember something about seeing Christine leave the room right after her scream. Judging by her expression, he thought he could safely guess that she wouldn't be coming back. He crossed his arms and looked sullenly at Raoul. "I have no idea what you've done with her," he said, "but you realize it only means you're stuck here."

"I did nothing with her!"

"Then it looks like you're not going anywhere." He growled. "Now get me something to drink… _Now_."

"No," Raoul replied.

"Yes you will."

"Why?"

Erik smirked. "You're going to want out of here eventually, and I'm the only one left who knows how to get out."

Raoul scowled and stood up. "Fine then, but keep in mind that I'm the only own who can bring you food. You can't live very long without me either." He spun around and left the room.

Erik sighed and turned his head toward the wall. All factors considered, it would take him roughly six weeks to be fully healed. Six weeks alone with Raoul… This was going to be a long six weeks.


End file.
